Costa Rica: Dear “-”, thanks for the birthday wishes

allo -,

thanks for sending me birthday wishes. your Hanukkah candles warmed my Gentile heart. I had a border-crossing birthday. I went to an organic food store, bought a really nice bottle of wine, some Humboldt Fog, some French yellow-blue, some Dubliner Irish Cheddar, some Keifer semi-cultured goat’s milk, some olives, some sourdough, some wine glasses, a wine key, some organic uncured pepperoni, some organic uncured ham, some 87% cocoa Dagoba chocolate, and we had a picnic on the ferry to Victoria, BC. PATRICE, HECTOR, and I have become good friends, and we talked about love and sex and music and swindlery and relationships and great-expectations unmet and low-expectations exceeded.

They once had a love affair, and I find it interesting to watch how old lovers take certain liberties with each other, like snuggling. HECTOR was hogging my snuggles. That’s OK though, because PATRICE and I have a purely professional way of interacting and snuggles would just complicate things. Plus, she’s married.

Since you and I aren’t really in a band, it would be OK for us to snuggle sometime. Remember when you showed me your sexy underwear?

I’m in Costa Rica. People down here take forever to do anything, and internet is hard to come by. The only way to live is to show up with a pile of money and plan on spending it all on booze, drugs, and yoga. FLORENTINO and I were commissioned to play a party and this guy- PLINY, who was born with a golden spoon shoved up his ass and is completely clueless about most things- didn’t have an amp for us. We were out of ideas until the day before the party, PLINY told us he looked into the sky and saw a gleaming cross sillouhetted against the hot afternoon sun. He heard the sound of electric guitar, and knew that God had sent him to this church at this time to find the only guitar amp in the province. He showed up the next day with another full PA system (we already had one, but still no amp). He acted surprised that we were surprised. He served his guests peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and put out a tip jar for the musicians. This guy is worth about $20 million USD.

1 thought on “Costa Rica: Dear “-”, thanks for the birthday wishes”

  1. I’m thinking about pseudonyms, and I’m wondering how to set this blog up. If I’m really going to be creative with this thing, I can’t be publishing people’s names. I can’t endanger all my friendships and professional musical relationships by publicly embarrassing people. That being said, it wouldn’t be too interesting to self-censor this thing to death, would it? What I need is freedom of perspective.

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